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| Pic Courtesy: Barkha, my unbelievably talented sister (touch wood)- The thadRi platter... miTThi Tikki (like biscuits), 'SooRhi', 'Aaloo takk', 'Bhindi', Onion pickle, 'dahi baRa', 'Roat', daal ka paraTha and 'achaar'. |
We used to
love having all the items that our mother made for ‘thadRi’... I had gradually stopped
believing in rituals and started receiving this reply, “असां त कडी कोन पुछो से!”/ “We never
questioned!”... From being a person who never spoke, to a child who put effort
into devising all sorts of logic to refute acts of blind faith, I had begun
making inroads into her belief system... Slowly, she must have understood I am
lazy too, but more than that we came to a mutual respect zone, where she knew I
would help her cook it all and she had become broad-minded enough to allow me
in the kitchen after simply a bath even on the first day of the period.
Sindhis are known to be smart, (euphemistically
speaking) but our elders were wise too. Apart from the scientific reasons for
fasting and such, these people had made ”नयाणी”/ “कन्या”/’girl child’ an
important deal, a pillar of the common man’s day-to-day ‘dhaarmik’ life...
There is a process called ‘handay’/ हंदय .... On various occasions, my mother
(as the ‘bahu’ of the household) would take out food and fruits in the name of
the ancestors and give it to us the daughters (the role of the Brahmin was
reduced as much as possible)... And the boys of the house were not supposed to
touch this food or any sacred gifts! My mother was a stickler for these
practices. When we were in joint family, they would never have heard her voice,
but later, even Papa was jolted by an urgent shout as he picked up any fruit
accidentally from our ‘thaal’... My little brother, the apple of her eye, would
almost invariably get asked, “kahaan se liya?”/ “Where did you take that from?”
Vivek, till date, asks before eating anything... I
have to remind him what is in the fridge, before leaving home, so he has an
idea that he can help himself to food when he’s hungry...
But I digress, another thing with ‘handay’ was that it
is not to be wasted and my mom generally operated out of abundance and immense
respect for rituals so she took a lot of food out for ‘handay’ and Barkha and I
could not finish it, especially during a few consecutive days of ‘shraadh’ when
the Brahmin was not invited, so the extra food was either given out to the help
for their daughters, if they too were not available then it was sent for the
cow.
On one such occasion, I happened to accompany Mommy,
in Lucknow. The car had just turned from the building’s exit and I spotted a
cow at the side and pointed out, ‘wohi toh hai! Yahin de dein!’/ There it is!
Let’s give it here only!” Mother said, “Chari aa’n chha!/ are you crazy?” I
said “Ghar ke paas ki gaay ko nahin khila sakte hain?”/“Why what’s wrong? Just
because it’s close to our house we won’t feed it?” Mommy said, again, while the
driver resumed driving after a beat...
“Chari aa chaa! Eehya gaany lagayi ti?”/ Are you mad? Does that look
like a cow to you?” I still could not understand... She continued in a softer
tone, “alaay kiyan tahaan khe patoyi na paindo tav”/ God knows how, you guys
can’t understand”. Just then as we waited at the signal, the animal crossed the
road in front of us. It was a bull.
So, I am very thankful for my upbringing.
Here’s an
old photo of how mainly Barkha would help decorate the ‘jhaanki’ and Mommy
would celebrate the birthing of Lord Krishna every year. Happy Janmashtami,
everyone.
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