From near Liluah, West Bengal to Lille, France

This is about the time when ‘gay’ just meant happy… Gay Hotel at Princep Jetty or ‘babu ghat’ was a favourite joint frequented by my family. They had the best big ‘samosa’s and my mom’s favourite, tutti-fruity ice-cream. But more than that, my joint-family had begun considering it an auspicious place for ‘showing’ girls. As was the custom in those days, families of prospective groom and bride would meet up at the bride’s place and decide whether or not they would like to enter into holy matrimony.

My family decided to do matchmaking at a neutral and a very pleasant setting. All the matches that were brought to ‘Gay Hotel’ had surely gotten fixed… regardless of how the concerned parties felt later :D The goal was marriage! Anyway, one of those matches was that of my maternal aunt’s (Shobha ‘Maasi’s)… the one who died just after 4 months from my mother’s passing away. Please do not shed your tears just yet, she’d laugh it off ;)

Mommy & Maasi

So, we are ‘goThaaNa’ or the village people from Sindh. My MaasaR’s (maternal aunt’s husband) mother was ‘shahri’/ urban… highly cultured. And my ‘Maasi’ was somewhat of a rebel and misfit even in her own family. So this girl from Kanpur goes into a highly cultured family in KanchrapaRa, a suburb near Calcutta; an old, large and reputed house with a small orchard and cowshed. And they were more Bengali than Sindhi! They get two brothers married at the same ‘manDap’. The other bride is from Moradabad.

Little Vivek with my camera-shy MaasaR.

Now, imagine, one morning at the dining table, when the guests have left and the new brides sit with mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, having hot cups of tea. The younger brother’s wife asks, ‘what does, ‘aami tomaake bhaalobaashi’ mean?’ (Bengali for ‘I love you’) Apparently that’s what her husband had said to her the night before… When the sisters-in-law, not yet married explained, naughtily, what their brother must have meant, the older bride, my ‘maasi’ bursts out laughing so hard… and ends up spraying tea on her mother-in-law!

MaasaR and Maasi

So, that's my ‘maasi’ for you, who woke up at 4 in the morning and washed clothes, even in her mother’s house… and was open to learning non-veg cooking for her in-laws… She used to call me ‘Dolchi’ with love… and ‘kheer’ (Sindhi for milk) was ‘doodh’, because her father-in-law’s name was Sri Kherajmal… and hence, ‘kheera’ (cucumber) also was ‘vango’ for her and her in-laws… which my younger maternal uncle (Bittu Mama) did not know…

What happened was, Bittu Mama was bringing her and her younger kid, Tarun from KachrapaRa to Kanpur for a vacation. When the train stopped at a station and a vendor brought something to sell, waking Bittu mama (quite young at the time), he shushed him away, while on the other hand, his sister from the upper berth, diagonal to him, kept saying, ‘vango waThi Des, vango waThi Des, hina khe’/ ‘get the cucumber, get the cucumber, for him’! They had quite a showdown as to why she was disturbing him when he was driving the pesky vendor away; and why he was sending him away when she wanted him to buy the very same thing in the first place! :D

MaasaR and Maasi with little Mita & Tarun

Kudos to the faith of a mother; her undying passion and her love for her young ones… Today her daughter and her son are both making her so proud. Maasi left for the heavenly abode in 2009 but her inimitable laughter stays with us… yes, you could make out, even in her quiet smile, she was laughing at you, at your stick-in-the-mudness, all the time :D No, it’s not her anniversary, birthday or anything, I just had to gift this to my cousins for all that they have overcome! My MaasaR is an epitome of sacrifice, who more-or-less brought up his younger siblings and their children, and has been kindest to us when we needed it… He has just shifted to a more manageable place in Kolkata… We wish him good health so that he may enjoy the fruits of his labour now… Cousin, Mita is a mother to a little girl, lives in her joint-family at Indore and is partial to cats and last but not the least, Tarun who is into Environmental Sciences and has just begun his Fellowship at Lilles, France! Here’s wishing him luck for his career:) Do keep us posted, bhai:)