Anything goes... Just came by some of our old photos... constant debate on saying 'what is' versus' how we want it to be'... My life's story so far, especially the nice bits that are worth remembering and just sometimes, lessons that are worth learning... And my Veg. Cooking Recipes with videos!:)
This is about the time when ‘gay’ just meant happy… Gay Hotel at Princep Jetty or ‘babu ghat’ was a favourite joint frequented by my family. They had the best big ‘samosa’s and my mom’s favourite, tutti-fruity ice-cream. But more than that, my joint-family had begun considering it an auspicious place for ‘showing’ girls. As was the custom in those days, families of prospective groom and bride would meet up at the bride’s place and decide whether or not they would like to enter into holy matrimony.
My family decided to do matchmaking at a neutral and a very pleasant setting. All the matches that were brought to ‘Gay Hotel’ had surely gotten fixed… regardless of how the concerned parties felt later :D The goal was marriage! Anyway, one of those matches was that of my maternal aunt’s (Shobha ‘Maasi’s)… the one who died just after 4 months from my mother’s passing away. Please do not shed your tears just yet, she’d laugh it off ;)
Mommy & Maasi
So, we are ‘goThaaNa’ or the village people from Sindh. My MaasaR’s (maternal aunt’s husband) mother was ‘shahri’/ urban… highly cultured. And my ‘Maasi’ was somewhat of a rebel and misfit even in her own family. So this girl from Kanpur goes into a highly cultured family in KanchrapaRa, a suburb near Calcutta; an old, large and reputed house with a small orchard and cowshed. And they were more Bengali than Sindhi! They get two brothers married at the same ‘manDap’. The other bride is from Moradabad.
Little Vivek with my camera-shy MaasaR.
Now, imagine, one morning at the dining table, when the guests have left and the new brides sit with mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, having hot cups of tea. The younger brother’s wife asks, ‘what does, ‘aami tomaake bhaalobaashi’ mean?’ (Bengali for ‘I love you’) Apparently that’s what her husband had said to her the night before… When the sisters-in-law, not yet married explained, naughtily, what their brother must have meant, the older bride, my ‘maasi’ bursts out laughing so hard… and ends up spraying tea on her mother-in-law!
MaasaR and Maasi
So, that's my ‘maasi’ for you, who woke up at 4 in the morning and washed clothes, even in her mother’s house… and was open to learning non-veg cooking for her in-laws… She used to call me ‘Dolchi’ with love… and ‘kheer’ (Sindhi for milk) was ‘doodh’, because her father-in-law’s name was Sri Kherajmal… and hence, ‘kheera’ (cucumber) also was ‘vango’ for her and her in-laws… which my younger maternal uncle (Bittu Mama) did not know…
What happened was, Bittu Mama was bringing her and her younger kid, Tarun from KachrapaRa to Kanpur for a vacation. When the train stopped at a station and a vendor brought something to sell, waking Bittu mama (quite young at the time), he shushed him away, while on the other hand, his sister from the upper berth, diagonal to him, kept saying, ‘vango waThi Des, vango waThi Des, hina khe’/ ‘get the cucumber, get the cucumber, for him’! They had quite a showdown as to why she was disturbing him when he was driving the pesky vendor away; and why he was sending him away when she wanted him to buy the very same thing in the first place! :D
MaasaR and Maasi with little Mita & Tarun
Kudos to the faith of a mother; her undying passion and her love for her young ones… Today her daughter and her son are both making her so proud. Maasi left for the heavenly abode in 2009 but her inimitable laughter stays with us… yes, you could make out, even in her quiet smile, she was laughing at you, at your stick-in-the-mudness, all the time :D No, it’s not her anniversary, birthday or anything, I just had to gift this to my cousins for all that they have overcome! My MaasaR is an epitome of sacrifice, who more-or-less brought up his younger siblings and their children, and has been kindest to us when we needed it… He has just shifted to a more manageable place in Kolkata… We wish him good health so that he may enjoy the fruits of his labour now… Cousin, Mita is a mother to a little girl, lives in her joint-family at Indore and is partial to cats and last but not the least, Tarun who is into Environmental Sciences and has just begun his Fellowship at Lilles, France! Here’s wishing him luck for his career:) Do keep us posted, bhai:)
I just became maasi-daadiJ , a grandmother, so to speak…
Yes, my
cousin’s son just had a child (I mean his wife of course :D). My cousin (Papa’s
elder brother’s/ Baba's daughter) still looks very young and pretty. Here’s Shobha didi
on the slide at Ajanta Apartments, back in CalcuttaJ And that’s my elder sister Barkha,
behind herJ
Photo may have been clicked by Papa. This park in
the building is where Papa left me once in the care of two older girls, Preeti di and Gala di, perhaps the older bhaiyas would remember ;) So, Papa had taken
me along because I really wanted to go and he could not really take me along
because I would have surely fallen ill after the walk. So, he asked the girls to keep me with them until he came back from the walk. The girls were nice
enough to me… but thereafter, I did not press my father to take me along or for
any other thing, ever. An innocent gesture and definitely a wise
decision on his part, but I took it otherwise. It has taken a lifetime for my
family to convince me that I am in fact ‘wanted’. (‘Love you’s are mandatory at
the end of phone conversations!) Such a double-edged sword, parenthood…
especially when we actually come with our own preconceived notions and
inclinations to believe the negative… Well, one can only do what one feels is right… and remind oneself to feel better, in the moment, as that will
attract more such experience… (Please refer to the Law of Attraction by Abraham
Hicks)… Thankfully we have the key, somewhat…
Photo of
Kailash bhaiya (Baba’s eldest son) clicked two years ago by my little niece Diva (when she was 5yrs)…
On my will to remain independent and thereby detached (they should not teach
about Buddha in class II), Kailash bhaiya had once said,
“There is, dependence, independence and inter-dependence…” Yes, I like life
better with my people around me, for sure. Life (read happiness) is much too precious to be
dependent on something or someone but sure is nicer when you can share it with
people.
This photo was
taken when Shobha didi came visiting with her kids, right after Ajay bhaiya’s
and Anil bhaiya’s wedding… On the left is Manisha bhabhi (the latter’s wife), the
oil painting is by Barkha, Amma (my Taaii ji/ father’s elder brother’s wife),
Shobha di, with little Juhi teased by her ‘Karan bhaiya’ (real sweet chap, the
one who has just had a babyJ) and my mother.
Here’s Mommy
with Anil bhaiya (Baba’s youngest and sweetest son; you have to see him dance
at a family wedding!) and me. Yes, at that point I used to walk like her bodyguard, if and when she ever ventured out! :D Mommy’s wearing the same sari as with Addi (my
paternal aunt, in blog before this)... Very likely, Anil bhaiya must have brought Addi over on her visit to Calcutta. Baba’s (my Tau
ji’s) bungalow smells like cardamom. It has been ages… I really should go visit
soonJ
L-R: photo frame of my father at 20; My mother; My aunt. Pic taken at Calcutta.
Mommy with our eldest paternal aunt... A little frail now,
but 'addi' is still just as passionate for the well-being of her kids (including
us).
My mother would get me to book these calls for her
sister-in-law to Bareilly and would refuse to take her name! I knew ‘Bhaagwanti
Devi’, but since the call was from mommy... she insisted I give, ‘addi’ (Sindhi
for elder sister) as p.p. or “particular person’ for whom the operator would
wait before charging and transferring the call. I presumed, it would be difficult to explain the concept and the Bengali lady
would anyways be more comfortable with saying ‘Aadi’, so I devised, “Mrs. Aadi”.
And the best part is that without any prior consultation, folks in Bareilly
understood that this call from Calcutta was for my aunt from her younger
brother’s wife! :D The mechanism took off and continued until the end of trunk
call days in metros... Now she has her mobile phoneJ
L-R: Mommy, Addi and I behind Vivek at Haridwar.
Here are Mommy, Addi and me standing behind Vivek getting ‘yagyopaveet sanskaar’ done, along with
3 strangers. Yes, it happened pretty late for him in 2002, but it was a big
deal for us to do it the right way, in Haridwaar at the family’s ‘Sai jan’s
place (where all our records are maintained!) and without celebration as that
is the (‘reet’) tradition in our family. But my mom really wanted addi and her
courage beside her, so, even though married daughters of the family are not invited,
it was pre-planned that addi should just come for vacation to Lucknow around
the time we were to go for this, so then she can just come along!
Prepared for this major event, ever since Vivek’s birth, we
learned yet again that there are rites and loopholes and it is ok to allow them
in order to fulfill tasks that involve beliefs that are important to people. It felt nice to finally get it done for mommy and the trip was overall great.
Oh, and when Vivek was coming from his bath after fully shaving
his head in enthusiasm, wrapped only in ‘gamchha’, just before the ‘janeyu’
rites, a man entering the ‘Sai jan’s place touched Vivek’s feet, assuming him
to be a ‘panDa’; Vivek in turn, automatically blessed him also :D
A bunch of us spent from last Saturday evening till Sunday late afternoon at the beautiful “Gorai Beach Cottage” in Gorai Village. It was supposed to be a Tango weekend. My friend Malaika and her mother have relatives in the village and visit often; that is how we came to know of the popular picnic spot. We took the ferry from Borivli and reached Gorai Village.
Incidentally, Deline happened to be there in line waiting for the ferry just like me. We reached together.
loved the brick wall of this century old house! They're capturing a novel spider's nest.
Deline took me to her cousin’s beautifully solid hundred year old house first, where the rest of us gathered before leaving for the cottage. Let’s hope the century-year old house stays like that for a long time, with all its memories, as we also learned how the village gets flooded now, due to ecological and climatic changes (read inconsiderate development).
Deline’s cousin Syrina made sumptuous East-Indian dinner for us (including very special ‘rice-roti’, chicken curry and daal) and we had Deline’s delicious green-chutney sandwiches earlier and a barbeque before dinner, which included sweet potato (I loved it), capsicum, paneer, chicken and shark. Yes, you read that right. I wanted to taste that before turning back to vegetarianism as Diva and Manya, my nieces have asked me often if I had tasted shark. It was ok:) With so much good food around we could not stay for long on the topic of ghosts.
Paneer by Gaurav, who complained about the colour of flame in his phone
The coals were fanned quickly with an electric table fan, the Resort’s owner, Allen, (it’s Allen Wadi, where we were at) another relative of Deline’s (that’s how we got the place in peak season) helped us with that and the next day, also gave us his home-made black-currant wine to taste! Some of us have duly ordered it for ChristmasJ
view of portico from verandah of the cottage
The resort was well maintained and had recycled old bottles as decoration… Please note the white and blue bottle chandelier on top of the table.
In the morning we had hot “batata- vada” and tried fresh toddy from ’taal-gora’ (tender fruit from a palm tree). It tasted a little bit like pungent coconut water. We were told, if it is stored for a few more hours it will be like vodka. Some people tried that too later, I dared not, as vodka does not suit me at all.
Gaurav, Abhishek and Debrup, clicked by Malaika.
After checking out a large community hall to see if it might be hired for a Tango evening that could be organized later, we went to a cleaner beach (it’s basically a fishing village), a little further from the resort and tried to postpone the coming back trip as much as possible.
We also went to another relative of Deline’s, where we had a little green fruit from the tree, (really sour, very tasty) called ‘bimbli’, and saw the biggest well in the area. This one was uncovered and housed many fish and toads. We fed bits of chapattis to them.
We were all in holiday mood and ended up dancing very little, just before lunch and had had to leave after tea. Oh, the tea was flavoured with lemon-grass, which was farm-fresh BTW, just like all the vegetables we were served.
Deline and Malika (coolest mother-daughter team ever) did all the hard-work and finally came back in the morning.
This is the picture shared by Malaika, of when they crossed the creek back to Borivli.
I really feel fortunate to have caught a glimpse of the rich Maharashtrian village culture (oh, there are many dialects of Marathi, all over, not that I understand much yet), only a few kilometers from the city... and above all such amazing warm-heartedness!
Looking forward to going there again when we can have a larger gathering and Tango weekend!:)
You have taught me so much. It is unquantifiable. So,
instead of doing ‘ati’, we’ll go with the bare minimum. Look, in this photo, taken at Simla, you whispered, we should pose differently- in anger:D
Expectation-er aalaada, anno kichhu bhaaba o jaaye, tui toh shikiyechhili! Eyi daykh, eyi chhobi Ta tolaar shomay tui toh bolechhis anno ekTa expression dite… mone aachhe?:)
Thanks to your teasing, I've become a little better:) Love you to bitsJ
‘Barkhi’ with PapaJ
p.s: Papa loves you, Mommy loves you, Guddu loves you, my Jijaji loves you, Manya loves you, Diva loves you:)
This picture was clicked by my friend Dinesh Shenoy,
whom I met right there at Radisson MBD Noida, back in early 2005.
Wait, I’ll introduce you to the people here, the one only
whose forehead can be seen is Dinesh Kapoor, he had already published books
related to Indian history, on his left is a sardar ji I do not recall, towards
his left is Dinesh Sood, (Kuljinder’s best friend and partner in a multimedia
academy), then it’s me next to Mr. Ashutosh Gowarikar and finally Kuljinder
Singh Sidhu, probably wondering about the camera angle… Dinesh Shenoy is a
trained Cinematographer, involved in various aspects of film-making.
What had happened was, we (more than 150 people from
all over the country) had all gathered in Noida for a 5 day Scriptwriting
workshop organized by UPFDC, Mrs. Jaya Bachchan and Mr. Govind Nihalani;
conducted by Late Krishna Shah.
Late Krishna Shah had developed a method of writing straight
from the heart, fast and with the formula in place. He taught us some processes
(around 2 minute meditations) to answer questions about characters that we
wished to develop, with some truth that we could identify with. That, for me
was a painful process up until recently, but it definitely is the key to it
all!
So anyway, during that workshop, Mr. Ashutosh Gowarikar
happened to come to Delhi for his latest film ‘Swades’ ‘s promotion, and
coincidentally was staying at the same hotel. He asked his film’s
Chief-Production-Coordinator-Delhi, Dinesh Shenoy (who was also doing the
workshop) to join him. Now, this was just at the end of the first or second
day, we were probably all going out for fresh air when someone pointed out, if
it was Mr. Ashutosh Gowarikar, over there. I said, “haan, par bolenge kya? Koi script toh hai
nahin, idea bhi nahin hai… lekin hare-raam toh kar hi sakte hain”/ ‘yes, it is…
but what do we say to him? I don’t even have script or an idea for him? But we
can always say hello’. I moved ahead smiling confidently and Kuljinder mumbled to
his friend, “who bhi sochega kya tope cheez aa gayi”/ ‘he’ll also think, she
must be some important entity’.
I stretched my hand out to Mr. A.G., “Hello…
Congratulations! (pause) for ‘Lagaan’ He
smiled resignedly. I explained, “We haven’t seen ‘Swades’, yet.” “You guys must watch it”. “Yes, we want to”. And
soon the conversation drifted to what we were all doing there. He was very
happy to learn that so many people were getting trained to write for films.
Kuljinder Singh Sidhu in Yoddha
Here’s to the success of positive beliefs… Wishing Kuljinder,
all the very best for his second Punjabi movie ‘Yoddha’… currently running in
theatres. The trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-32fF2BewWc
She put her
foot down. She would not get dressed for the exhibition! “numaaish” is what she
had called it. They had already seen her twice. The third time around the guy
himself wanted to come see her. The guy in question, my father just wanted to make sure that they had fixed him up with a nice girl,
while he was still at college; studying engineering (which was a fact the girl, who would be my mother, really liked). She was 20 already. She had two younger sisters;
and her family was not very well off. But these people, the guy’s side were
atleast willing to let her stay and cook vegetarian…
The practice
was unheard of in those days, in our community of ‘goThaaNa’ (from the
villages) Sindhis, for the guy to ‘see’ the girl before marriage. But he had
been a good boy all along, so his mother unwillingly let him go. Some of the family
members were driving with him from Faizabad to Benaras, when their Fiat met with an
accident. The car overturned, my grandfather was hurt a bit, but the rest were
ok. They went back home. My grandmother forbade them to even think of it
again, as she had been against this visit anyway. So, the marriage was fixed.
Six months later, on the ‘vedi’, as the bride sat with her face totally covered by the veil of
her pink sari (unfortunately we have never seen the photos; they’re most
probably with my younger paternal aunts:D ... yes, women are powerful in our
family), my father happened to see his bride's hands folded. He thought, ‘atleast she’s
fair’. Yes, we’re colour conscious too…
So, the newly weds, sort of begin to get along with each other, exchanging guarded letters, which my
mother feared might be accidentally read by the family, while he still had to
finish six months of college.
Also,
guarding her staunch vegetarianism was my grandfather, who also got exotic
fruits just for his ‘nanDhi koaar’ (the little bride) and protected her from
any sort of excesses that might happen in any Indian joint family.
My mother
reciprocated by 'zabardasti' (all the while, holding her veil and probably never speaking to him) serving him his early morning tea (after sleeping at one or two) lighting
up a fire on the coals, at four am; she often wondered why they still did that
while her own family cooked on gas. Anyway, she started suffering from
bronchitis and had only about three years with her loving father-in-law. He
passed away and Barkha was born soon after. The baby started talking very early
and became the darling of the family.
The business
was expanding and required travelling. The family shifted to Belghoria, where I
was supposed to come. The place had two wings; one was the residential quarters
and the other had the guest rooms, living rooms, the offices and finally the kitchen on the
top floor. It was becoming increasingly difficult for my mother to climb down from
her room in one wing and upstairs in the next wing to the kitchen, what with
her asthma and pregnancy.
The men (my
tauji and father) used to be very busy, but if and when they heard something,
they would solve the matter, whether you liked it or not! So, my father got a
covered bridge made from one wing to the other! Nah, although, she must have
been embarrassed at first, my mother was always very grateful, for it had made
life very easy for her. She used to mention it very happily.
Vivek was
born in Calcutta and my mother believed that her ‘baba’ my paternal grandfather had
come back.
We miss how
people make us feel. When talking about some other couples, my mother used to
always say, ‘your father never made me feel bad about not having studied much;
be it while introducing me to his friends; or otherwise’.
Na, ya, we
had our tough times, when I did my negative schooling, but I’m so glad I am my parents' daughter and have these
memories too.
Thanks to her office guys who pressured her into joining FB, I finally found
Polly again, our friend from school, who had just about created the profile
with her basic info… Polly is the one who inspired the wildness in me. I met
her in class IV, could not understand or pronounce her name for days. Usually
sitting in first or second benches, my friend Sharda saw the combined Moral
Science class of different sections as an opportunity to goof around a bit. I was
about to learn to laugh from this time onward. So, Sharda would lead me right
upto the last bench near the second door of Class IV-C and sit with the quiet girl
in the corner.
(picture borrowed from the internet)
Sharda prompted, “is se iska naam poochho, na”/ “ask her name”… I did
that for a couple of days, until she got angry, because we could neither
understand nor pronounce it, even when she showed us her copy with the label…
and Sharda would cover her mouth and giggle! One day I was absent and Sharda
made friends with the girl and told me the next day that she is a nice girl and
her nick name is Polly… Not that I know the meaning of it now, but I can
pronounce her official name too… It is written as ‘Sutapa’,
pronounced "Shuthopa". So that was that, and then Sushma had gotten all of us
'abnormal' girls together by class VI...
All of us were uniquely funny, but Polly has also always been amazing.
She used to travel all the way from her home in Hindmotor, a small town in Hooghly
District to our school in Park Lane, near St.Xavier's in Calcutta... Rumour has
it that Polly beat up an older boy of class V who then left school...
It is Polly, who would reach a friend’s doorstep and just as she’s about
to ring the doorbell, would start to pray, “he bhagwaan wo ghar pe nahin ho”/
“God, please don’t let her be at home!”
Captain of Gold House by the time she reached class VII, she is the one
who inspired me to play catch and patiently taught me how to really throw that
tennis ball! With guts to not hide behind a demure façade, during a tiffin
break when Sushma gave Polly’s butt a back kick, beautiful Mrs. D. Basu also
called them both, ‘GoonDi’/ruffian, but with a lot of loveJ
Picture taken at BITM, during Science Exhibit, Class IX. (R-L) Sushma, our best friend Shadma (may she rest in peace) and I.
Between us, we have lost some loved ones. Now is the time to collect all
good wishes for those remaining…
My nieces have heard the story of how when we were in class VIII, Tushar, our
office peon, had told us of the bad-smelling plant… when crushed it smells like S***
and can be used to have some fun. I had gone to school and told my friends
about it. And Polly volunteered to bring it… ‘Although, the plant may not be in
Hindmotor (town near Calcutta) where she lived with her family, her father may be
able to find it from a town nearby’. So she asked uncle to bring it as “Dolly
ka peT kharaab hai”/ “Dolly’s stomach is upset”. May he rest in peace, Uncle
had gone to the other town, brought back the medicinal herb and the next day
Polly had gotten for us a bagful of those infamous leaves.
We had duly crushed the leaves all along the red skirting of our
classroom, disrupted the studies because of wasteful discussions, and in the
end our new and handsome biology teacher had come in and agreed with us, saying
“It is coming from the chemistry lab, shut all the windows.” Many of us
complained of headache by the time he left and ran to open the windows!
(Shadma, Shalini, Sutapa, Sharda, Nauras and Sangeeta. Clicked by me on a trip to Nicco Park, Calcutta, with some of their new friends from College)
Polly invited us every year to her place for her Birthday treat! No
matter when it fell, we tried going on Saturday. My mother used to learn of new
superstitions and was especially skeptical of us doing anything on Saturdays…
She had become extremely protective of us since Papa. I used to regale her with
the stories of Polly’s bravado and get permission! But I do remember her
smiling when she said ‘yes’, (despite her brother’s/ my Mama ji's warnings) after her time
restictions… and I realize (only after seeing Barkha with her kids) how happy my
mother must have been, seeing her shy and quiet kid going on a day’s journey to
Howrah Station, on a local train to another town for a feast and then coming
back with friends. One day we got late, really late… To be continued…
Originally clicked for little Diva, my 6 yr old niece,
who is recovering from fever (at her home in Raipur), I thought I might as well share
these with the rest of my family and friends too…
I see a lot of myself in Diva. I used to fall ill very
often too. And we, as a family were sickly and created a lot of trouble in our
lives, inadvertently.
History need not repeat itself. If the ego wants to
achieve victory, let it do so, but without the grief.
Today, I realize, it is
smarter to lead a happy and healthy life than creating and overcoming huge blockades to our
dreams. And we are learning, that dreams do come true when we allow
ourselves to breathe easy…
Let it be known that happiness is the greatest
achievement that man can attain! Not later (when we have done this, that and more)... but now, right now! :)
The songs that baby Vivek enjoyed dancing to, became huge hits in the country… Those were the days of cassette players… Although, we still had record players at home, old and new… Papa loved old melodious songs and would also bring the latest Hindi film music… (he got some cassettes taped with old songs and numbered them all; a cousin of ours had been asked to make an index in a diary, when he came on holiday!:D) Baby Vivek loved dancing to ABBA's 'voulez vous', which was played even by the cousins who were supposed to be ‘at war’; yes, around that time, we had a ‘baTwaara’, an official separation from the joint family... Tough time for all, but the baby provided respite.
Seen here, baby Vivek on Papa's shoulder, clicked by little Barkha, using Papa's polaroid.
I think this was on 'Holi'...
Anyway, as we got older, Kaalichanran’s dialogue tape was our favourite for the longest of time until it got damaged and then a new one was brought.
We learned from our neighbours and then my father also rented a video player and cassettes for the movie marathons a few times. Soon enough, we bought our own VCP. The cassette-walas used to come door-to-door and rent out movies in the building.
Once, there was heavy water-logging in Calcutta, due to incessant rains for 3 days. We had people pouring in from different corners in the neighbourhood whom we only knew by name or face, “7H mein zaroor milega”/ ‘you will definitely get something at 7H’ (our flat)… They were looking to borrow movies!
In the meantime, upon doctor’s advice, our father decided to forgo the exhaustive construction business and got into movie exhibition after building a Cinema Hall in ‘86… (Which by the way, he wanted our mother to inaugurate… But she suffered a heart attack so some minister must have been called… Anyway, our father passed away in ’88; the business was in a different city and finished by the time we grew up.)
All said and done, as a family, we were addicted to films.
So, Vivek had decided he wanted to be a director, by the time he was 6 or 7 years old… I suggested, “jab tum film banaoge, toh hum tumhaari film mein dialogue likhenge”/ ‘when you make a film, I shall write dialogue for it.’ (There was no concept of screenplay, being separate, at that point) And his reply was, “pehle hum toh film banaayein”/ ‘let me get down to making my film first’…
And without him being too interested, there seemed no point in pursuing that dream… it was only because we had such fun doing our improvisations together. Soon enough, the lure of the computers took me away to a more feasible line of career. And Vivek watched more movies, (at home and with Barkha, our elder sister who took him to watch movies in theatre); and read up on films and so many varied subjects…
(Seen here, Vivek getting into Barkha's solo photo time. Picture, most probably taken at Macau, during a family holiday)
As we grew older and busier (me with studies and he with friends), I missed having that fun with my baby brother, and dreamt of perhaps studying together sometime… But I used to think, ‘will I fail for four years?' as I am that much older. But it did happen... When I was done with my IT stint and we had shifted to Lucknow, we decided to pursue courses at a Media Institute. Vivek wanted to learn the process that Actors undergo, so that he as a Director could get through to them. I wanted to learn Scriptwriting. But it so happened, that there were very few students, so we all had combined classes taught by experts. And yes, we jumped with joy together when our favourite teacher taught!
(Vivek, clicked by Barkha at our MiThu didi's tea garden in Darjeeling)
A few years ago when I reminded Vivek of his reaction to my proposition, he replied, "us time pe hum Javed Akhtar se likhwaane ka sochte the... humko pata nahin tha tum kaisa likhti ho"/ 'At that point, I used to think about getting Javed Akhtar (sa'ab) to write for me; I did not know if you could write..." Now, of course, he tells me to write for him, but he is not allowed to pressure (while I finish a script for my friend). We have managed to do some corporate film work together in Lucknow and Delhi. Both Barkha and Vivek end up adding a lot of value to my fictional radio stories that are currently available on youtube.
So, Vivek has been working in Mumbai since 2002, on adfilms, corporate fims, feature films, etc… In 2011, he landed himself a Creative Head’s job at a TV production house. They were about to leave for an outdoor shoot on a different serial and asked him if he was ready to do some extra work. So, he went with them to Switzerland! He assisted the Director, did the Creative Director's work, production work and also acted… Here’s a clip. He said, he felt like such a lech, asking someone to bring his wife, so many times…:D He appears from around 2:26 until 2:55, and he looks pretty decent, don't you think?
He never smoked. This was just for the photo, I guess:D He was very fond of the movies and might have even harbored some ambitions in that direction, who knows? During his college-India-tour (which happened during his Civil Engineering years, after 2 years of studying medicine, as the family had gotten into construction and wanted him to join the family business; earlier, he had received some letter to join the armed forces, which my Grandma had burnt:D) he must have seen Jewel Thief more than 12 times, practically in every new city they must have visited. Guide was his favourite, though.
He did like travelling a lot. Here's little Barkha with Mommy and Papa in Mussoorie.
After their marriage, my mom chose most of his clothes and he did full justice to them. But this shirt was gotten by him on his Lion’s club world tour. The photo must have been for my mom’s benefit :D (My mom stayed back as she did not wish to leave baby Vivek to go travel).
A fun-loving person, a thorough gentleman and an avid reader, my father was meticulous and highly disciplined in all manners, right from the way he’d fold the newspaper to the way he’d close the water-tap between brushing (twice daily). Here’s his usual to-the-point postcard.
My paternal uncle (Baba for us all, who saw his family through tough times, now unwell, has his own rags-to-riches story) and my father were hard-working people… Although, Papa took us all out whenever he’d have time… it (taking too much pressure on himself) took its toll; he suffered from depression and underwent treatment also... My brother Vivek feels if our Father had received Osho then, things might have been different. We lost him in ’88.
Anyway, so, we had our happy and sad phases. He had been gifted back to us a couple of times. He made depression fashionable! :D People in different factions of our ‘khaandaan’ started having this intellectuals’ disease… (Nah, life is too precious to depend on anything outside of us but we do need to appreciate now, whatever it is that we regard precious).
We come with our own sets of beliefs and or fears. And we are always right! So, it is all the more important to remember to believe in the power beyond us and also that we are very much an extension of this source energy, which makes everything we focus on, available to us, whenever we allow:)
यह कहना था ढाई साल की बरखा का... क्यूँ ? नहीं पता, बस ज़िद थी... आज भी उसका ऐसा ही है :D जिस चीज़ के पीछे पड़ जाती है... पूरा किये बगैर मानती नहीं है... भगवान की दया है कि अब उसकी प्रायोरिटीज़ सही हैं... नहीं, हम दोनों ने बड़े हो कर, बहुत खादी के कुर्ते पहने. मम्मी धुलाते-धुलाते थक जातीं थीं... बहुत भारी होते थे, मेड कम्पलेन करती थी... उस पर, रंग भी जाता था, तो मम्मी अलग से भिगवातीं थीं... वो भी बहुत पैशनेट होतीं थीं. हर चीज़ के लिये... मतलब जब तक शरीर साथ देता था... उसके बाद पूर्वजों से पूजा-पाठ के कर्म-काण्ड के लिये प्रार्थना होती थी, ‘सही’ काम कराने के लिये... काम हो जाता था... तो हार मान लेतीं थीं, “करण वारो ऊव्हो”...
खैर, यह तसवीर है, बरखा के उसी मसूरी ट्रिप की... मम्मी, पापा के साथ... और इस समय, खानदान भर की चहेती बरखा, एक बढ़िया ‘होम-मेकर’ का रोल निभाने में पूरे पैशन से जुटी हुई है... उसके घर-वाले भी उतने ही ज़िद्दी हैं :D
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