Very few
people are remembered and revered the way we love and miss our friend Shadma
Shamama Khanam. The one who got angry every time our School in Calcutta, under
Bengali influence, (where ‘S’ is often pronounced as ‘Sh’ would think the ‘h’
to be redundant in her first name Shadma, meaning- Happiness) and print ‘Sadma’
(meaning- emotional shock/trauma). The girl who had lots of opinions, most of
them showing irritation at people invading her privacy, was extremely
intelligent and a very soft-hearted person and was the best friend to everyone
in the group.
 |
| From R-L, Sushma, Shadma and I at BITM Science Fair; pic by Shadma's elder brother. |
Sometimes, I
hear her voice in my older niece, Manya and I love her more when she talks so
much sense, much more than her years. I wish Shadma had Manya's kind
of determination too... Determination to flout ‘saamjik’/ social pressures… Like
Polly and myself, she did not want to get married… she had much too independent
a spirit. Anyway, she performed her duties, gave birth to a girl and died of
some illness. Her husband of course, got married and the child is living with
him, his new wife and new son.
I’m not
saying that marriage itself was the culprit; as nowadays, we can see people being
happy and independent even within the institution… But in those days, we had
these negative beliefs you see… And whatever your core belief is, comes true…
That’s how the Law of Attraction works.
So, yes, we
were this strange bunch of girls brought together by our friend Sushma. I was
included in the group in class VI. That is when I learned to talk, as in, that’s
when I began to act my age, be a child, because, I could trust and respect
these girls, and begin to have fun in school… These were the people I could relate to, apart
from my own family.
Having been kept
on a separate floor from boys since class V, this gang of girls was free to
behave wildly. They were good at studies, well behaved with the teachers, witty
to the core and had hoodlum kind of ‘haatha-paayi’ with each other!
 |
| Girls of Class VIII on a picnic...:) |
But the fact
that we were not interested in boys bothered one girl. Let’s call her, Nazraana;
who right from this tender age was very aware of what was ‘normal’. She had
confessed to me in class VIII, that if a boy called so-and-so, (we used to have
mixed classes, as in, boys would be sitting in separate columns in Second Language
& Moral Science) was to touch her, she would not marry anyone else/ “Agar woh
merko chhooega toh main kisi aur se shaadi nahin karoongi”. When I related this
to Shadma, she was surprised, “Woh usko chhoega kyon?”/ ‘Why would he go to
touch her?’… We generally did not speak with the boys and laughed at their
stupidities. And Shadma had clearly not understood, so I had to explain, “woh bahut baRe sense mein bol rahi thi”/ ‘She
meant it in a much larger sense’… To which Shadma said, “ekdum paagal hai,
bolne doh, humein usse kya?”/ ‘She’s totally crazy, let her say, does not
matter to us’… We left it at that.
But Nazraana
did not… Then there were two years of Classes IX and X, together as Co-ed with the
boys…
So, when we had reached class XI and had begun Inter College, Nazraana
discussed about our lack of interest in boys with an older friend in her neighbourhood
and related it to some of the group, that her ‘didi’s’ verdict for us was that
we were abnormal!
 |
| 'antaakshari' with boys at our place! :D |
Now, a story
was concocted and served with much spice, so they could laugh later… I say,
they, because, I had continued at our old school, Sushma had also joined Goenka
perhaps, Nauras and Nazraana had also separated only Shadma, Sharda and Polly were
together at Bhawanipore College… a Co-ed Institute. These 3 girls were the most
affected by this labeling. I think it was Sharda’s plan and Shadma was most
enthused about teaching Nazraana a lesson…
So, Sharda
planted in Nazraana’s mind that (since, Sushma would be too unbelievable:D)
Dolly has a boyfriend, a new boy in school (I used to walk away when that guy
came anywhere near) and Shadma likes a guy, (Shadma cooked up a name- HENRY
RANGHAPPA) a senior from College… The best part is- Polly likes him too… So,
Nazraana met up with Shadma, at the earliest, before our group meeting/picnic
plan, alone and confronted her! She specifically advised her to go ahead with
her relationship with the boy and ditch Polly :D
The idea was
so abhorrent that Sharda spilled the beans, but Nazraana refused to believe
that this was a cooked up story saying, “Shadma jab baat kar rahi thi uske
aankh mein paani tha”/ ‘When Shadma spoke of this, her eyes were teary’!
 |
| Picnic in College, Nicco Park, Calcutta |
Finally,
all, Shadma, Sharda and Polly had to confess it together and also, told her that
they were disappointed that she advised her to go against her friend… It was
Polly only, who wanted to keep in touch with Nazraana, even though, when she’d reach
outside her house and wish she weren’t home!
Sharda got
married and lives somewhere in Thane. Sushma is a professor and lives with
husband and son in California. Nauras is into alternative Medicine, lives in
Calcutta with husband and son. Polly is just like me unmarried. Sushma, Polly
and I are in touch again, and not just us from the group, but the boys from our
class also miss Shadma a lot.
More of our
stupidities later :D
.jpg)