It is a world of possibilities!:)

This picture was clicked by my friend Dinesh Shenoy, whom I met right there at Radisson MBD Noida, back in early 2005.

Wait, I’ll introduce you to the people here, the one only whose forehead can be seen is Dinesh Kapoor, he had already published books related to Indian history, on his left is a sardar ji I do not recall, towards his left is Dinesh Sood, (Kuljinder’s best friend and partner in a multimedia academy), then it’s me next to Mr. Ashutosh Gowarikar and finally Kuljinder Singh Sidhu, probably wondering about the camera angle… Dinesh Shenoy is a trained Cinematographer, involved in various aspects of film-making.

What had happened was, we (more than 150 people from all over the country) had all gathered in Noida for a 5 day Scriptwriting workshop organized by UPFDC, Mrs. Jaya Bachchan and Mr. Govind Nihalani; conducted by Late Krishna Shah.

Late Krishna Shah had developed a method of writing straight from the heart, fast and with the formula in place. He taught us some processes (around 2 minute meditations) to answer questions about characters that we wished to develop, with some truth that we could identify with. That, for me was a painful process up until recently, but it definitely is the key to it all!

So anyway, during that workshop, Mr. Ashutosh Gowarikar happened to come to Delhi for his latest film ‘Swades’ ‘s promotion, and coincidentally was staying at the same hotel. He asked his film’s Chief-Production-Coordinator-Delhi, Dinesh Shenoy (who was also doing the workshop) to join him. Now, this was just at the end of the first or second day, we were probably all going out for fresh air when someone pointed out, if it was Mr. Ashutosh Gowarikar, over there. I said, “haan, par bolenge kya? Koi script toh hai nahin, idea bhi nahin hai… lekin hare-raam toh kar hi sakte hain”/ ‘yes, it is… but what do we say to him? I don’t even have script or an idea for him? But we can always say hello’. I moved ahead smiling confidently and Kuljinder mumbled to his friend, “who bhi sochega kya tope cheez aa gayi”/ ‘he’ll also think, she must be some important entity’.

I stretched my hand out to Mr. A.G., “Hello… Congratulations!  (pause) for ‘Lagaan’ He smiled resignedly. I explained, “We haven’t seen ‘Swades’, yet.”  “You guys must watch it”. “Yes, we want to”. And soon the conversation drifted to what we were all doing there. He was very happy to learn that so many people were getting trained to write for films.

Kuljinder Singh Sidhu in Yoddha

Here’s to the success of positive beliefs… Wishing Kuljinder, all the very best for his second Punjabi movie ‘Yoddha’… currently running in theatres. The trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-32fF2BewWc

My Parents' Wedding Anniversary

She put her foot down. She would not get dressed for the exhibition! “numaaish” is what she had called it. They had already seen her twice. The third time around the guy himself wanted to come see her. The guy in question, my father just wanted to make sure that they had fixed him up with a nice girl, while he was still at college; studying engineering (which was a fact the girl, who would be my mother, really liked). She was 20 already. She had two younger sisters; and her family was not very well off. But these people, the guy’s side were atleast willing to let her stay and cook vegetarian…

The practice was unheard of in those days, in our community of ‘goThaaNa’ (from the villages) Sindhis, for the guy to ‘see’ the girl before marriage. But he had been a good boy all along, so his mother unwillingly let him go. Some of the family members were driving with him from Faizabad to Benaras, when their Fiat met with an accident. The car overturned, my grandfather was hurt a bit, but the rest were ok. They went back home. My grandmother forbade them to even think of it again, as she had been against this visit anyway. So, the marriage was fixed. 

Six months later, on the ‘vedi’, as the bride sat with her face totally covered by the veil of her pink sari (unfortunately we have never seen the photos; they’re most probably with my younger paternal aunts:D ... yes, women are powerful in our family), my father happened to see his bride's hands folded. He thought, ‘atleast she’s fair’. Yes, we’re colour conscious too…

So, the newly weds, sort of begin to get along with each other, exchanging guarded letters, which my mother feared might be accidentally read by the family, while he still had to finish six months of college.

Also, guarding her staunch vegetarianism was my grandfather, who also got exotic fruits just for his ‘nanDhi koaar’ (the little bride) and protected her from any sort of excesses that might happen in any Indian joint family. 

My mother reciprocated by 'zabardasti' (all the while, holding her veil and probably never speaking to him) serving him his early morning tea (after sleeping at one or two) lighting up a fire on the coals, at four am; she often wondered why they still did that while her own family cooked on gas. Anyway, she started suffering from bronchitis and had only about three years with her loving father-in-law. He passed away and Barkha was born soon after. The baby started talking very early and became the darling of the family.

The business was expanding and required travelling. The family shifted to Belghoria, where I was supposed to come. The place had two wings; one was the residential quarters and the other had the guest rooms, living rooms, the offices and finally the kitchen on the top floor. It was becoming increasingly difficult for my mother to climb down from her room in one wing and upstairs in the next wing to the kitchen, what with her asthma and pregnancy.

The men (my tauji and father) used to be very busy, but if and when they heard something, they would solve the matter, whether you liked it or not! So, my father got a covered bridge made from one wing to the other! Nah, although, she must have been embarrassed at first, my mother was always very grateful, for it had made life very easy for her. She used to mention it very happily.

Vivek was born in Calcutta and my mother believed that her ‘baba’ my paternal grandfather had come back.

We miss how people make us feel. When talking about some other couples, my mother used to always say, ‘your father never made me feel bad about not having studied much; be it while introducing me to his friends; or otherwise’.

Na, ya, we had our tough times, when I did my negative schooling, but I’m so glad I am my parents' daughter and have these memories too. 

Sindhi: हिक्क सुभू बम्बई में...

त, असांजी साहिड़ी वयी पये मैराथौन जी प्रैक्टिस करण... उन्हीय खे औफ़िस मों ड्रुकाइन्स पया (असां इन्ही करे एढ़ी औफ़िस में कमु न कन्दा आह्यऊँ, मतलब हिकु कारण ईह्यो भी आहे)... पर छुट्टी हुई, त ऐडवेंचर करण लाय असां भाउ-भेण भी सुभू-सुभू पन्जें वजे घर खों निकता से औं छोकरीअ खे वठी रेस-कोर्स पुगा से... उन्हीय डीय्हं क्वालिफ़ायर हुयुस...

छोकरी निकरी वयी औफ़िस वारन सां, औं मां थोड़ी देर घुमी करे, हे फोटू कढी, अची भाउ वट वेठम. भाउ, पहिंजो किताब खंणी आयो हुयो... मां हेडे-होडे खूब तक्यो, इल्हाई मांढ़ूं... के कसरत पया करिन, के वरी ब्यन खे करवायिन, के कराटे सिखिन, ब्या पया घुमिन, के वरी असां वांगुर वेठा भी हुया... सुभू सुटठी हुई...

पर तडी भी, घणी देर चुप रेह्न्दो मांढ़ूं? हिकु फोटू खंणी भाउ जो भी खींच्यो मांस!

मत्थे डिठो, त वडो हिक कांउ, चोंच में इल्हाई वडी, रस्सी वांगुर डंठल खंणी वन्जे पयो...  मां चयो भाउ खे, “गुड्डू डिस त! छा खंणी उडरे तो?” गुड्डू चये तो, “घोंसलों तो ठाये... छडे रखेस!” जणओं मां वंजी कांउ के कुछ कयांस पयी!

पो पांण खे ही लगुस, “हम सोच रहे थे तुमको बोलें, तुम भी किताब ले आती”... 

मां वर्दी न डिनी मांस.

वरी कुछ देर थी... नेठ पुछ्यो मांस, “घणा पन्ना (बाकी) ती?” भाउ चयें, “पन्झाउ... छो?”

“मां च्यो, खतम थेवयी त मां भी पढ़दम...” उव्हो समझण जी कोशिश करे प्यो, मां च्यो मांस, “न-न हांणय न... पो...”

साम्ह्यों डिठो, त हिकु ट्रेनर, हिक थुल्ले मांढ़ूं खे चयेस्तो, “अभी, वो सर नीचे वाला करेंगे, ललाट वाला...” अगते भी कुछ सम्झायेस पयो... मांढ़ूंअ, लगे तो, मन्यांस कोन... मां सोचण लग्यम, ‘ईयो सब करे जिनिन्खे वधीक अकुल अची वेन्दो हून्दो, कंदा छा हूंदा?’...

खैर, असांजी साहिड़ी क्वालिफाय थी वयी... असां वन्जी हाजी अली जूस सेन्टर ते नाश्तो करे, मलाड अची, हिकु खेल डिसी करे, घर मोटी आया से. ‘घर, भिस्त जो दर...’ ईंयाई... याद अची वयो, मम्मी चयन्दी हुई...

Polly- an Introduction

Thanks to her office guys who pressured her into joining FB, I finally found Polly again, our friend from school, who had just about created the profile with her basic info… Polly is the one who inspired the wildness in me. I met her in class IV, could not understand or pronounce her name for days. Usually sitting in first or second benches, my friend Sharda saw the combined Moral Science class of different sections as an opportunity to goof around a bit. I was about to learn to laugh from this time onward. So, Sharda would lead me right upto the last bench near the second door of Class IV-C and sit with the quiet girl in the corner.

(picture borrowed from the internet)

Sharda prompted, “is se iska naam poochho, na”/ “ask her name”… I did that for a couple of days, until she got angry, because we could neither understand nor pronounce it, even when she showed us her copy with the label… and Sharda would cover her mouth and giggle! One day I was absent and Sharda made friends with the girl and told me the next day that she is a nice girl and her nick name is Polly… Not that I know the meaning of it now, but I can pronounce her official name too…  It is written as ‘Sutapa’, pronounced "Shuthopa". So that was that, and then Sushma had gotten all of us 'abnormal' girls together by class VI...  

All of us were uniquely funny, but Polly has also always been amazing. She used to travel all the way from her home in Hindmotor, a small town in Hooghly District to our school in Park Lane, near St.Xavier's in Calcutta... Rumour has it that Polly beat up an older boy of class V who then left school...

It is Polly, who would reach a friend’s doorstep and just as she’s about to ring the doorbell, would start to pray, “he bhagwaan wo ghar pe nahin ho”/ “God, please don’t let her be at home!”

Captain of Gold House by the time she reached class VII, she is the one who inspired me to play catch and patiently taught me how to really throw that tennis ball! With guts to not hide behind a demure façade, during a tiffin break when Sushma gave Polly’s butt a back kick, beautiful Mrs. D. Basu also called them both, ‘GoonDi’/ruffian, but with a lot of loveJ

 Picture taken at BITM, during Science Exhibit, Class IX. (R-L) Sushma, our best friend Shadma (may she rest in peace) and I.

Between us, we have lost some loved ones. Now is the time to collect all good wishes for those remaining…

My nieces have heard the story of how when we were in class VIII, Tushar, our office peon, had told us of the bad-smelling plant… when crushed it smells like S*** and can be used to have some fun. I had gone to school and told my friends about it. And Polly volunteered to bring it… ‘Although, the plant may not be in Hindmotor (town near Calcutta) where she lived with her family, her father may be able to find it from a town nearby’. So she asked uncle to bring it as “Dolly ka peT kharaab hai”/ “Dolly’s stomach is upset”. May he rest in peace, Uncle had gone to the other town, brought back the medicinal herb and the next day Polly had gotten for us a bagful of those infamous leaves.

We had duly crushed the leaves all along the red skirting of our classroom, disrupted the studies because of wasteful discussions, and in the end our new and handsome biology teacher had come in and agreed with us, saying “It is coming from the chemistry lab, shut all the windows.” Many of us complained of headache by the time he left and ran to open the windows!

(Shadma, Shalini, Sutapa, Sharda, Nauras and Sangeeta. Clicked by me on a trip to Nicco Park, Calcutta, with some of their new friends from College)

Polly invited us every year to her place for her Birthday treat! No matter when it fell, we tried going on Saturday. My mother used to learn of new superstitions and was especially skeptical of us doing anything on Saturdays… She had become extremely protective of us since Papa. I used to regale her with the stories of Polly’s bravado and get permission! But I do remember her smiling when she said ‘yes’, (despite her brother’s/ my Mama ji's warnings) after her time restictions… and I realize (only after seeing Barkha with her kids) how happy my mother must have been, seeing her shy and quiet kid going on a day’s journey to Howrah Station, on a local train to another town for a feast and then coming back with friends. One day we got late, really late…                        To be continued…

Funny Faces

Originally clicked for little Diva, my 6 yr old niece, who is recovering from fever (at her home in Raipur), I thought I might as well share these with the rest of my family and friends too…

I see a lot of myself in Diva. I used to fall ill very often too. And we, as a family were sickly and created a lot of trouble in our lives, inadvertently.

History need not repeat itself. If the ego wants to achieve victory, let it do so, but without the grief. 

Today, I realize, it is smarter to lead a happy and healthy life than creating and overcoming huge blockades to our dreams. And we are learning, that dreams do come true when we allow ourselves to breathe easy… 

Let it be known that happiness is the greatest achievement that man can attain! Not later (when we have done this, that and more)... but now, right now! :) 

So, my baby brother started reading on his own… but we still watch films together:)

The songs that baby Vivek enjoyed dancing to, became huge hits in the country… Those were the days of cassette players… Although, we still had record players at home, old and new… Papa loved old melodious songs and would also bring the latest Hindi film music… (he got some cassettes taped with old songs and numbered them all; a cousin of ours had been asked to make an index in a diary, when he came on holiday!:D) Baby Vivek loved dancing to ABBA's 'voulez vous', which was played even by the cousins who were supposed to be ‘at war’; yes, around that time, we had a ‘baTwaara’, an official separation from the joint family... Tough time for all, but the baby provided respite.

Seen here, baby Vivek on Papa's shoulder, clicked by little Barkha, using Papa's polaroid.

I think this was on 'Holi'...

Anyway, as we got older, Kaalichanran’s dialogue tape was our favourite for the longest of time until it got damaged and then a new one was brought.

We learned from our neighbours and then my father also rented a video player and cassettes for the movie marathons a few times. Soon enough, we bought our own VCP. The cassette-walas used to come door-to-door and rent out movies in the building.

Once, there was heavy water-logging in Calcutta, due to incessant rains for 3 days. We had people pouring in from different corners in the neighbourhood whom we only knew by name or face, “7H mein zaroor milega”/ ‘you will definitely get something at 7H’ (our flat)… They were looking to borrow movies!
In the meantime, upon doctor’s advice, our father decided to forgo the exhaustive construction business and got into movie exhibition after building a Cinema Hall in ‘86… (Which by the way, he wanted our mother to inaugurate… But she suffered a heart attack so some minister must have been called… Anyway, our father passed away in ’88; the business was in a different city and finished by the time we grew up.)

All said and done, as a family, we were addicted to films.

So, Vivek had decided he wanted to be a director, by the time he was 6 or 7 years old… I suggested, “jab tum film banaoge, toh hum tumhaari film mein dialogue likhenge”/ ‘when you make a film, I shall write dialogue for it.’ (There was no concept of screenplay, being separate, at that point) And his reply was, “pehle hum toh film banaayein”/ ‘let me get down to making my film first’…
And without him being too interested, there seemed no point in pursuing that dream… it was only because we had such fun doing our improvisations together. Soon enough, the lure of the computers took me away to a more feasible line of career. And Vivek watched more movies, (at home and with Barkha, our elder sister who took him to watch movies in theatre); and read up on films and so many varied subjects…

(Seen here, Vivek getting into Barkha's solo photo time. Picture, most probably taken at Macau, during a family holiday)

As we grew older and busier (me with studies and he with friends), I missed having that fun with my baby brother, and dreamt of perhaps studying together sometime… But I used to think, ‘will I fail for four years?' as I am that much older. But it did happen... When I was done with my IT stint and we had shifted to Lucknow, we decided to pursue courses at a Media Institute. Vivek wanted to learn the process that Actors undergo, so that he as a Director could get through to them. I wanted to learn Scriptwriting. But it so happened, that there were very few students, so we all had combined classes taught by experts. And yes, we jumped with joy together when our favourite teacher taught!

(Vivek, clicked by Barkha at our MiThu didi's tea garden in Darjeeling)

A few years ago when I reminded Vivek of his reaction to my proposition, he replied, "us time pe hum Javed Akhtar se likhwaane ka sochte the... humko pata nahin tha tum kaisa likhti ho"/ 'At that point, I used to think about getting Javed Akhtar (sa'ab) to write for me; I did not know if you could write..." Now, of course, he tells me to write for him, but he is not allowed to pressure (while I finish a script for my friend). We have managed to do some corporate film work together in Lucknow and Delhi. Both Barkha and Vivek end up adding a lot of value to my fictional radio stories that are currently available on youtube.

So, Vivek has been working in Mumbai since 2002, on adfilms, corporate fims, feature films, etc… In 2011, he landed himself a Creative Head’s job at a TV production house. They were about to leave for an outdoor shoot on a different serial and asked him if he was ready to do some extra work. So, he went with them to Switzerland! He assisted the Director, did the Creative Director's work,  production work and also acted… Here’s a clip. He said, he felt like such a lech, asking someone to bring his wife, so many times…:D He appears from around 2:26 until 2:55, and he looks pretty decent, don't you think?

My Father My Hero

He never smoked. This was just for the photo, I guess:D He was very fond of the movies and might have even harbored some ambitions in that direction, who knows? During his college-India-tour (which happened during his Civil Engineering years, after 2 years of studying medicine, as the family had gotten into construction and wanted him to join the family business; earlier, he had received some letter to join the armed forces, which my Grandma had burnt:D) he must have seen Jewel Thief more than 12 times, practically in every new city they must have visited. Guide was his favourite, though.

He did like travelling a lot. Here's little Barkha with Mommy and Papa in Mussoorie.

After their marriage, my mom chose most of his clothes and he did full justice to them. But this shirt was gotten by him on his Lion’s club world tour. The photo must have been for my mom’s benefit :D (My mom stayed back as she did not wish to leave baby Vivek to go travel).
A fun-loving person, a thorough gentleman and an avid reader, my father was meticulous and highly disciplined in all manners, right from the way he’d fold the newspaper to the way he’d close the water-tap between brushing (twice daily). Here’s his usual to-the-point postcard.

My paternal uncle (Baba for us all, who saw his family through tough times, now unwell, has his own rags-to-riches story) and my father were hard-working people… Although, Papa took us all out whenever he’d have time… it (taking too much pressure on himself) took its toll; he suffered from depression and underwent treatment also... My brother Vivek feels if our Father had received Osho then, things might have been different. We lost him in ’88.
Anyway, so, we had our happy and sad phases. He had been gifted back to us a couple of times. He made depression fashionable! :D People in different factions of our ‘khaandaan’ started having this intellectuals’ disease… (Nah, life is too precious to depend on anything outside of us but we do need to appreciate now, whatever it is that we regard precious).
We come with our own sets of beliefs and or fears. And we are always right! So, it is all the more important to remember to believe in the power beyond us and also that we are very much an extension of this source energy, which makes everything we focus on, available to us, whenever we allow:)