Faith, Films and Feelings

Picture Courtesy: Kumar Gaurav, one of Vivek's precious colleagues.

This beautiful picture reminds me so much of the time when we had rushed to the wave cinemas in Lucknow, back in 2009 to watch my brother’s first film with his name in end credits as ‘Director’s Assistant’. The date was 5^th of Feb. It was Madhurita Anand’s Directorial debut, Randeep Hooda, Arbaz Khan and Raima Sen starrer “Mere Khwabon Mein Jo Aaye”.

There were five of us- Mridula Ma’am, my cousin’s wife Vineeta Bhabhi, Deora Aunty, Mommy and I. Looking back, I feel so thankful to God that I had learned driving again after years of being afraid and was able to drive everyone for this treat. Ofcourse, our anxious and fragile mother could not climb more than 5 steps in the auditorium. So she sat in the nearest row with Vineeta bhabhi.

I went up and sat in the designated seats with my teacher and aunty. I cannot begin to describe what my mother must have felt! But I shall give it a try... Her son’s first feature film since he started working in 2002... She must have also thought of our own cinema hall we once had... Had Papa been there, things would have been very different... But those are my views. Seriously, she was mostly filled with gratitude towards the end.

At some point in the movie, I ran down to tell her to keep a lookout, as our Guddu will appear on the screen any moment now, as the music jam scene was about to begin as shown in the trailers. And thankfully, Vivek made a friendly appearance!

The day she had passed away back in 2009, I was angry at her for ‘not 

waiting for another two-three years to see us get really successful, receive awards’ and said as much to an aunty. Today, I realize, she left, so that we would not suffer due to her failing health. Another thing I realized is that becoming hugely successful, especially, in this industry is not that easy... Also, in order to maintain your confidence in the interim one needs to have a lot of faith. Her faith on the other hand, was generally very strong in those days. At one point she had declared “Hum haThaat se chale jaayenge ek din”/ ‘I’d leave suddenly, one day’... Yes, “haThaat” is Bengali, pronounced “HoThaat”, and my mother had adapted a lot of Bengali things in her Hindi manner, including ‘panch-phoran bhindi’. She was very adorable that way and like Mridula Ma’am had pointed out one day, after a few meetings with her how she likes that my mother is generally happy... But I digress. The other Bengali thing she was fast to adopt were superstitions like not getting clothes washed on Thursdays. She was extremely passionate about that one. Tuesdays and Saturdays were added by other influences and were quite flexible with a little comparative analysis to the western lifestyle and some ‘zaroorat hai’ persuasion. To the latter she mostly replied, “Itne kapRe hain tumlogon ke paas almaari mein, tumko yahi pahenna hai?”/ ‘you all have so many clothes in the almirah, you have to wear these only?’

Anyway, the journey since after mommy has been long. Vivek has worked hard and at high positions in production department as well. Now he is making his way back into direction. A couple of days ago, bhai and I laughed over the phone, like we have not laughed in ages. I count my blessings for such special moments.  

And I suspect, because of my mother's love surrounding us, we have thankfully remained safe. I am reminded of her presence whenever we are happy. 

“Khajoor Pe Atke”, written & directed by much loved actor Harsh Chhaya, releases on the 18^th of May. Vivek has worked on it as 1st Assistant Director. I have heard great things about the scriptJ It is a movie that our little nephews and nieces can watch too. Best Wishes to us all!

song

Aao na dekha,song, Khajoor pe Atke

trailer

Khajoor Pe Atke official trailer

Some things are beyond us

It’s just a little overwhelming, I tell you... three deaths in a spate of 4 months. Although, I wasn’t really attached to my relatives who passed away, it’s still disconcerting. On my Birthday, on Jan 28^th, my brother was on the way back from a funeral in Calcutta, that of my second paternal Aunt. Granted that she was old and suffering from ailments just like the others that went after her, she actually (physically) missed attending her grandson’s wedding slated to happen three weeks later.

Among us, the first card is sent to Lord Ganesha. Once his emblem is imprinted, the wedding cannot be postponed. And as it so happens, these days, weddings are handed over to the planners. So everything was going on as per plan. Okay, and during this wedding, on the ladies sangeet, just before the ring ceremony, another aunt’s husband, my phupha ji suffered a heart attack in front of us. He was taken to the hospital where he passed away. The death was kept under wraps as the wedding muhurat is sacred and the next day was the wedding. That happened somehow. Everyone got dressed and attended. The body was cremated the next day, as the wedding guests dispersed. The last rites were held at the deceased’s house in another town.

We had gone to Calcutta after a long time to attend this wedding and I had taken a cotton nighty for my ‘nanDhi Amma’ (younger amma, as in, my grandma was ‘amma’). She was happy. I hope she wore it. Her daughter, Rita di asked her to put her hand on me as I knelt down near her bed and give me blessings. She was my ‘taayi ji’, my father’s elder brother’s wife. She passed away three days ago. Today, was the ‘pagRi rasm’ at a Gurudwaara, a prayer- meet.

May the deceased rest in peace. 

My brother is there in Calcutta, as are probably most of our relatives. It is also Vivek’s Birthday today. God bless us all.