Lying on her bed-spread (white cotton fabric with light pink flowers and green stems, that I got this time from a carton in Barkha’s go-down in Raipur, originally sent from home in Lucknow; that Barkha and she had gotten from an exhibition at Nathani Aunty’s back in Calcutta) I felt so ‘at home’ and started thinking of how she had instinctively known about colour therapy among other things like ‘the law of attraction’ that we are beginning to learn now (considering she had no college degree and had only liked reading Sharat Chandra novels etc; had once, day-dreamed about getting married to an Engineer and actually did, believe it or not, it was an arranged marriage…
Just a few months ago we read the young couple’s letters and happily discovered, that they had actually fallen in love after getting married!)... I went about my day, getting the house cleaned, planning what changes to make with the furniture settings (of the minimum that we choose to keep now)… packing for Vivek’s trip abroad, I heard in her voice (in Sindhi), "haaNe kontho vanjayi"/ ‘he is not going now’. I still kept getting his warm clothes ready. My brother came back home last night and told me that the trip has been postponed... I had completely forgotten that yesterday, the 11th of April, was my mother’s 5th death anniversary.
Extremely camera-shy, and generally full of abundance, (that I wish to imbibe now) she had her phases of lack complete with superstitions too... Ideal daughter that used to be, I erupted when we had reached Lucknow in late 2001, that too thanks to her brother’s (my Uncle’s) instances of irrational behavior. But that really opened the floodgates of our good fortune by teaching us how to appreciate ‘what is’. We started communicating with complete honesty. It felt wonderful. She became a complete pillar of strength, whereas earlier she was treated as fragile (what with her heart-attack in ’86 and our father’s death in ’88)… Her transformation was phenomenal. Not that we still did not argue, she had promised in full filmy style, ‘tumko chhoRke kahaan jaayenge’/ where will I go without you/or rather ‘I shall never leave you’...
Now, I ask her for help whenever required and I hear her instructions when I am in the mood to listen:) On the 10th, I met one friend while shopping and then another friend decided to bring home his wife and two kids along with his neighbor Aunty. She was just so nice. Tomorrow, I have plans to meet another friend and her mother. The day after, I might meet another Aunty for Chinese-Checkers… We cannot replace people, but our loved ones are always around and life can be as beautiful as we allow it to be.
Just a few months ago we read the young couple’s letters and happily discovered, that they had actually fallen in love after getting married!)... I went about my day, getting the house cleaned, planning what changes to make with the furniture settings (of the minimum that we choose to keep now)… packing for Vivek’s trip abroad, I heard in her voice (in Sindhi), "haaNe kontho vanjayi"/ ‘he is not going now’. I still kept getting his warm clothes ready. My brother came back home last night and told me that the trip has been postponed... I had completely forgotten that yesterday, the 11th of April, was my mother’s 5th death anniversary.
Now, I ask her for help whenever required and I hear her instructions when I am in the mood to listen:) On the 10th, I met one friend while shopping and then another friend decided to bring home his wife and two kids along with his neighbor Aunty. She was just so nice. Tomorrow, I have plans to meet another friend and her mother. The day after, I might meet another Aunty for Chinese-Checkers… We cannot replace people, but our loved ones are always around and life can be as beautiful as we allow it to be.
